The Continuing Adventures of Othar Tryggvassen
|Here may be found an archive of entries into the ongoing diary of Europa's Greatest Living Hero, lately serialized using the innovative journaling engine known as "Twitter."
When you have finished reading the archives here, you may wish to:
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This archive reads from top to bottom (you know, the usual way.) Twitter, on the other hand, posts the newest entry at the top for convenience. And now, without further ado:
ADVENTURE THE FIRST: BELIEVE GREEN EYES
Hi All -- My name is Othar Tryggvassen Gentleman Adventurer! ha HA!
Dangling from an Airship in flames. Do I let go and fall to earth? or Climb up and burn? This ones a stumper
Survived the fall... again.
Received a message that the daughter of the Baron of Micklesburgh has been kidnapped by a masked man riding a flying stoat. Intriguing.
Planned on taking the train to Micklesburgh, but I am told that no trains have returned from there in the last week. Annoying.
On the road to Micklesburgh at last. No news from there for 2 weeks. Bought supplies and a good horse. I believe I shall name him Spooky.
Remember - just because someone is shooting at you, it doesn't mean they don't like you. Some habits are just hard to break
Have found a friendly farm on which to spend the night, which is lucky, as it looks like rain. Farmer's daughter seems most convivial.
A little TOO convivial. Lycanthropy is a messy business. Rain cleared up. Sun out. Spooky is fed, watered and ready to go. Onward!
A quiet day. Weather continues fine. Have made camp for the night in carapace of old clank near brook. Fish for dinner! Yum! Frogs singing.
On the road again. Did not sleep well. Frogs quite loud. Will be glad to leave this area, as they seem even louder. Weather continues fine.
Bad day. Frogs seem to be following me and they're getting louder. But I can't see them. Worrying. Spooky does not seem worried. Odd.
Whew. Found parasitic frog burrowing into ear. Much quieter now. Weather is foggy. Found tools from road repair crew. But no crew.
Search of road crew camp yields nothing. No fire tonight. Alarm wires strung. Unusual glow over horizon towards Micklesburgh. Figures.
Slept well, considering. Weather still foggy. Have noticed that Spooky is staring at me. Follows my every move. Unnerving. Ate some cheese.
Problem? According to my chronolumograph, 4 days have passed of which I have no memory. Even worse, official hero timecard not stamped. Drat.
Found a stream and was bathing (cleanliness is important) when I discovered a tattoo upon my abdomen. "Believe Green Eyes". My handwriting.
Found Spooky, made camp. Weather continues odd. Should arrive at Mickleburg tomorrow. Can see town below in valley. Looks normal.
Finally entered Mickleburg. Town gates opened at sunrise. The smell of their famous honey-bread is everywhere. Mighty tasty too. still foggy
Before I see the Baron, I shall sound out the town. First thing of note, it appears that no one is allowed to leave once they enter.
Town appears normal. There is a growing unrest amongst travelers who cannot leave, but reports of monsters is keeping them quiet for now.
Slept well. Apparently someone attempted to steal Spooky, but were fooled by the cardboard decoy. An old trick but a good one.
Have an appointment with Baron. Observed flying stoat and rider in sky. Townspeople terrified. Street cleared (except for me). We waved.
Have made inquiries. Flying stoat rider is local spark who raised stoats for their pelts for wig makers. Was never a financial success.
Have spoke to Baron. Idiot. Defaulted on his wig bill, daughter kidnapped. Here I was hoping for something different. Had him pay in advance
Stoat rider's name is Zorbit Huffnagle. Stoat farm is in giant tower in middle of town. Deadly devices through-out. Same old same old.
Have entered Huffnagle's tower and encountered first line of defense.Ten feet of stoat dung. Was going to kill him anyway, now I'll enjoy it
Second line of defenses was hoard of undead stoats. Tedious, yet unnerving. It did not help that they sang. How did my life get like this?
Giant flying stoat is a lot larger than I thought. I mean, I knew it was big- but it turns out that Huffnagle himself is twenty feet tall.
I'm sure Huffnagle had a tragic history, but you'll need haruspicy to discover it as I pushed him off the top of the tower. Stoat is mad now
As I suspected, stoat was deathly allergic to ham. Choked to death. Now I must find the Baron's daughter. View of town from tower is superb.
Problem. Have found Baron's daughter. Several times. There were three girls locked up, all identical, all claiming to be the real Rheeba.
None of them have green eyes. Have also found another prisoner unconscious. This especially worrying as it appears to be me. Handsome devil.
It is me. He has the secret scar that I got during the Nymphenburg Pudding Incident. Ah, Desdemona, you naughty, naughty girl. Dead now. tsk
As best as I can tell, my doppelganger was savaged by some sort of giant rodent. Will survive. I have mixed feelings about this. Must think.
A puzzler. All Sparks must die, yet I am a Spark. I will kill myself when my mission is complete, but now I can kill myself first. Tempting.
Decision may be problematic. My twin is not doing well. All three Rheebas are equally calm and competent and aided me in surgery.
Oh dear. Machinery discovered in closet suggests that Huffnagle dabbled in transdimensional harmonics AND time travel. Not my lucky day.
My twin is too weak to be moved. Awoke briefly. Recognized me and whispered,"You're a...number 28" before fainting. Actually I'm a size 42.
Found a hidden library. Detailed notes on operating machinery. There are a number of notes and corrections in my handwriting. Lots of them.
With these devices I could go back in time. I could correct any number of mistakes. Kill certain Sparks before they broke through. Tempting.
Business before pleasure. My twin is stable enough that I can take the time to return Rheeba to her father. But which one? All of them?
Girls came up with solution. One will return to the Baron, one will become a pirate queen and one will be my new assistant. They drew straws
Baron attempted to kill me to get money back. Newly installed Baroness Rheeba has been extremely grateful. Populace seems pleased as well.
Interesting. Baron was not responcible for sealing the town. That is the idea of the Captain of the Guards. Rheeba describes him as "a dope"
First things first. Whereas exploring spacetime would be fun, the town is suffering now. I'll have all the "me" time I want. I can wait.
I imagine that the Captain of the Guard is running a squalid little blackmarket/extortion scam. Hope so, I could use some "Punch Therapy".
Have obtained a writ from the Baroness, empowering me to deal with the Captain. We can pretend everything will go all nice and legal. Sure.
Was sent in to meet Captain of the Guards. It's another me. Sufficiently surprised that he got the drop on me. I am beginning to hate this town.
Captain me came to my cell, which is lined with skulls (tasteful). He says that he hopes that I will listen to reason this time. This time?
Ah. The skulls lining walls are apparently souvenirs of all the times "I" DIDN'T listen to reason. There are hundreds of them. Freaked out
Captain me posits that it is impossible to cleanse the world of Sparks in a piecemeal fashion as I have been doing. He may have a point...
He then goes on to say that it is possible to control a closed environment, such as a small town. I think I see where this is going. Oh dear.
Oh yeah. He's proposing the same clear and expand strategy the Baron is using. I already tried this. The Great Wall of Norway was a mistake.
THIS is interesting. Captain Me never built the Great Wall. But this was the incident that made me realize that all Sparks must die. Hmm.
Captain Me says all Othars have the revelation "All Sparks Must Die", but all are different. Captain Me's involved waffles. Buttery waffles.
Apparently ALL Othars are pre-disposed to realize that all Sparks (including myself) must die, we just come to this truth via different ways
So the question is, is the Truth so obvious that anything crystallizes it in our minds, or are we just pre-disposed to suicidal craziness?
Well obviously the first option is the correct one. A pity all of the other Othars I've met have been mentally deranged in some manner.
I do the only possible thing. I agree with everything Captain Me says, although I argue about significance of waffles as a revelatory medium
Amazing. Captain me insisted on frying up a batch of waffles to "educate me" and wound up killing himself in a bizarre waffle iron mishap.
His uniform fits. I guess I really am that fat. No strudel for awhile. Found two more me's in the morgue being turned into wall ornaments.
Have issued orders to reopen the city gates. Reviewed the records and am relieved to see that all prisoners appear to be actual lawbreakers.
City gates were opened and monsters did not pour in. Was slightly worried about that, I'll admit. All available troops are on traffic duty.
Have examined Captain Me's effects. His journals reveal a shallow existence with occasional rhapsodic passages about waffles. Burned them.
My work here is done. I should head back to the tower. Decide to look about the city instead. Feel peculiar. Funerals do that, even mine.
Although strong drink is a mocker, I find that I need to be mocked. Barenjager, schnapps & kirschwasser. Keep them coming, fraulein.
My waitress is working tables to put herself through college. Transdimensional harmonics no less. She sits down after her shift ends. Score?
We discuss Huffnagle's devices. She thinks that the device is collapsing realities as they're invoked, which is why there is multiple 'Me'.
Explain how I can use these devices to further my campaign against Sparks. She breaks a bottle over my head. The Art of Debate is not dead.
She explains (slowly) that every other Othar who used these machines got killed. Therefore, I shouldn't use them. I think I see her point.
The good I could do with these machines is overwhelming to think about. What could I do with another thousand Othars? Wait. What DID I do?
"I" spent all my energies on an insane scheme that nearly ruined this town and tried to kill as many copies of myself as I could find. Damn.
I ask Annisette (my waitress) the odds of every single other Othar being insane and unable to see the simple truths I do. Low, she says.
Very, very, astronomically, implausibly, mind boggelingly low. Wow. Well I AM pretty lucky at games of chance. That was when she smacked me.
According to 'A', Doing the 'obvious' thing always results in disaster. If I want to break this cycle, I should do something implausible.
Attempted to go on a balloon ride with a unicorn... What am I drinking?
Woke up. Annisette in my arms. What WAS I drinking? Astonishingly, I remember everything. Oh come on -it's not THAT implausible. Honest.
I should not allow a simple bout of excessive biology to cloud my judgment. Logically- ah, Annisette has woken up. She has green eyes.
I have smashed the machines and burned Huffnagle's notes. I've got to trust someone, and apparently can't trust myself. Lovely green eyes.
I could have sworn that before I smashed machines, Mickleburg was surrounded by wasteland. It's rich farmland now, and there's a river.
Annisette does not remember me.
Time to move on. The horse I pick up at the stable looks like Spooky, but has six legs. Fine. I'll take it. Still have tattoo. That's good.
Girl Genius is written by Professors Phil & Kaja Foglio of TPU, with drawings by Prof. P. Foglio.
Volume One was inked by Brian Snoddy. Volumes Two and Three were colored by Mark McNabb. Volume Four was colored by Laurie E. Smith. Cheyenne Wright is our current colorist. His work begins with Volume Five. Our email and social media assistant is Chris Sorensen.
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